Tag Archives: Johnny Depp

Pirates of the Caribbean 4 – On Stranger Tides

Good – All of the characters were a lot of fun. Johnny Depp still has Cap’n Jack nailed. The stories for Pirates continue to be ambitious and brain-challenging, with a lot of twists. The addition of voodoo and ships that sail themselves continue to expand the envelope of the Pirates universe. Penelope Cruz was great as Angelica, and Ian McShane was super awesome as the incredibly-evil-but-fully-aware-of-it Blackbeard.  This could’ve been a sequel that sat on its laurels but it was obvious they tried to do something new.

Bad – The characters and concepts were interesting, but there was way too much going on. Jack hired by King George? Barbossa losing his leg and the Black Pearl at sea and turning Privateer / land-owner? A voodoo pirate with a zombie crew with a ship that spits hellfire and controls the wind? A preacher that falls in love with a mermaid who seems reluctant to eat people? A girl from Jack’s past that knows his sword-fighting style well enough to impersonate him? The Pirate Lords abandoning the sea because of the scourge of the afore-mentioned voodoo pirate? Inquisition-ish Spanish armadas fighting for faith instead of for treasure? That’s all in there, but it seemed like a whole trilogy of ideas in one movie, made worse by the fact the first twenty-minutes+ is a very long caper / chase scene that really only features Jack and Gibbs.

The ugly: There is some distinctively non-ugly stuff in this movie, such as the mermaids and the lovely Angelica, but I do have to mention Barbossa’s intentionally hideous makeover.

The random: Most of the movie ended up having a large random factor due to the fact that there were so many characters and so little was explained. The Preacher and the Mermaid was a really interesting sub-plot that was nontheless completely random, since we really don’t know anything about the characters or why they’re fighting Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush for screen time.

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Vanity Fair – what are they up to?

Vanity Fair is far and away my favorite magazine. Unlike a lot of the fluff in other magazines these days, it tends to be chock full of long, well researched, interesting essays and long, in-depth interviews about subjects that are more interesting than yet another list of how to get your stuff organized, or tips for better skin care. (Or one of biggest peeves – a super short interview with an interesting star that only tells me stuff I could have learned just by reading their website.) Instead of yet another article of the same relationship advice they gave last month, there is instead an intriguing article on the economic woes of Ireland. Instead of some starlet answering absurd questions that anyone with Google and a few minutes to spare could get the answers to, there is an incredible in-depth interview of the amazing Johnny Depp written by Patti Smith that actually gives some insight into what goes down in that brilliantly off kilter mind of his.

But they’re up to something. I can tell. It took me awhile to notice, but after I was done being mesmerized not only by the fact that Rob Lowe seems to have discovered the fountain of youth, and also written what seems to be both a humorous and fascinating look at young Hollywood circa the 1980s (and also includes some insight into the childhood of everyone’s favorite Vatican Assassin), it occurred to me – there is a trend going on here, isn’t there?

Let’s go back the last few months in covers:

May 2011 – Rob Lowe, former teen heartthrob

April 2011 – Rob Pattinson, current teen hearthrob

March 2011 – It’s the Hollywood issue, so it’s not entirely fair to include it, but Jake Gyllenhaal is on the cover, so that counts for something.

February 2011 – Justin Bieber, current teen heartthrob

January 2011 – Johnny Depp, former teen hearthrob

Looking back through the archives, it occurs to me why this seems so odd. Up until this year, Vanity Fair covers have overwhelmingly been dominated by women. Last years theme even seemed to be the year of the iconic woman – Cher, Lady Gaga, Angelina Jolie, Marilyn Monroe, Grace Kelly, Liz Taylor, Meryl Streep – even the Hollywood issue was all about the young up and coming actresses that may some day join their ranks of fame and infamy.

Maybe the editors felt they needed to balance out all that red lipstick with some shirtless lads? Maybe there was a dip in female readership? Is this a clever ploy to entice teen girls to read about something more deep and enlightening than how to wear the latest trends? (If so, I completely approve of this tactic.) And yes, this still works with Depp and Lowe. I mean, just look at them! Talk about aging like a fine wine. But I digress.

I’m on to you and your little game Vanity Fair. Who’s up next? Given a certain event that’s set to take place later this month involving a certain couple VF has been following pretty closely lately, I”m guessing it’s Prince William, who was…. a teen hearthrob! Ta dah! Theme intact! But if that’s followed by an in-depth look at, say, the Jonas Brothers, I won’t be surprised.

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