Sometimes Hollywood is Right…

For example, any random Hollywood producer or marketer could probably tell you something that certain political groups just flat refuse to acknowledge – men and women are different. A vast majority of the time, certain things can be taken for granted. Men like sports more than women. Women like makeup and fashion more then men. If someone is going to stay home with the baby, it’s probably going to be the mom. Women tend to be social creatures that value their personal time and friendships outside of work, men tend to make friends at work and value a fancy title, power, and money more than personal relationships. I don’t know why that’s true, and there are certainly examples of it not being true. For example, I like sports more than David, and David puts way more effort into his personal grooming these days than I do, so I totally get that there are exceptions to the rule and sometimes girls like gore and naked girl filled action/horror films and sometimes a guy really likes sappy RomComs, but trying to pretend there is any way to change the way a vast majority of each gender appears to be psychologically wired is just… dumb. Its naive, and it’s stupid, and it’s driving me nuts.

Women, on average and taken as a whole, make less than men. Well, no shit Sherlock. Guess what? Two of my co-workers had babies last year. The male co-worker took off about two weeks. The female co-worker took off more than six months, and we were starting to wonder if she was even coming back. This is an accepted norm in the workplace. When I had my daughter, David took a few days off, and I also stayed home for six months. And I don’t see why there is any need for us to discourage this maternal behavior. Number 1, I had to deal with the pregnancy for nine months, so I think I was entitled to be the one to get to stay home for a few months. Number 2, last I checked moms tend to WANT to stay home with their babies – it’s not called “paternal instinct”, is it? Number 3 – it’s kind of hard for dads to breast feed.

Even after that crucial period of mother/child bonding, women tend to take jobs that are less demanding in terms of time and stress so they can be there for their kids. What’s wrong with that? Can’t we be okay with that? Based on general observation, I’d be willing to bet even most women without husbands or kids tend to take jobs that pay less but afford them more personal time, because women are social creatures that place more value on personal relationships than status and money. And who is to stay that the traditional male attitude of working 80 hours a week, flying around the country, fighting tooth and nail for some stupid promotion at some stupid corporate job is somehow superior just because they make more? Who CARES if they make more? Sure, I could work as a sales rep or a manager and make way more than I make now, but, you know, personally, I like having a life on the weekends, and making healthy meals at home instead of constantly eating out, and spending time with my family and friends instead of boozing it up to kiss up to some client. Call me crazy. Or just call me woman. 

I wouldn’t trade the extra time I’ve gotten to spend with my daughter for a 50% wage gap, much less a 25% one.  Nor would I trade working in a job I’m okay with for a job I hate just to make up some stupid “wage gap”. Show me data that shows two people of different genders working the same job, with the same experience, with THE SAME TIME OFF, and then we’ll talk about a wage gap. Or talk about abolishing the NFL, the NBA, the NHL, until you can somehow convince the country to pony up millions of dollars to watch women’s versions of those sports, (assuming you could even find enough women who even want to play those sports… and you won’t), then we’ll talk about a wage gap. Talk about paying women to stay home with their kids and raise our next generation, and we’ll talk about a wage gap.

But until then, just SHUT UP already!

Thank you.

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